Daily Limerick
Delightfully Offensive since 1999! Contains Immature (not 'mature') Content; but just in case... If You're a Minor, Go Away!
Edited by Chief Limericist Sloop Biederman, humorist from MAD Magazine to the Chicago Tribune's RedEye, L.A.'s Comedy Store to Chicago Comedy Festival...
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Send your own Letter to the Idiot (attach sexy pics if you must... Sigh):
missives@dailylimerick.net
(c)1999-2015 John "Sloop" Biederman
Sloop and the Magnificent Musical Nut Wagon
SUNDAY DAILY LIMERICK 1/25/2015:
Greg Plitt's death by train? Seems the word's
he tried to...outrun it? Absurd!
Filming "energy drink" ad?
Coffee, folks--why this fad?
(Two kinds of "thinning the herd"!)

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 1/25/2015:
Don't know about this "America's Team" nonsense, but to anyone outside the Boston area, the Patriots are al-Qaida's Team...

***

SUNDAY STORY TIME 1/25/2015:
A SPECIAL, TOUCHING SECTION APPEARING SUNDAYS ONLY
(Touching in some manner, anyway)

TODAY'S EDITION: Cheap City
You know about the usage of the word "city" to connote a center/HQ for something, or a place with a prevalence of something... Ala, "Let's hang at the mall! Babe City, my friend!"

Okay, you don't hear it as often these days, but it's still around.

When I was a shaver, and into my teens, cassette tapes were one of the most, if not the most, popular means of listening to music. Like albums, cassettes had two sides. Naturally, these two sides of music came in at different lengths.

Meaning, one side of a cassette tape ended up with a blank section of silence at side's end.

My best childhood pal, Jimmy, dubbed this, "Cheap City."

I don't use the "city" slang much, if at all anymore.

Except... Bought a bag of chips the other day and the way the contents settled, let's just say that when I opened that bag... Cheap City!...

***

LETTERS TO THE IDIOT 1/25/2015:
> Dear Sirs,
>
> Normally I refrain from any negative commentary on anything, however the recent
> shoddy service at DailyLimerick.Net has pushed me right over the edge. Let me
> say at the least that I am disheartened by the lapse in quality control exhibited in
> todays missive and rest assured that I have you on "Email Probation" at this
> juncture until such a time as I see a return to the quality and fidelity of the pre
> 01/23/15 Daily Limerick customer friendly approach.
>
> In other words, don't let it happy again...or there's gonna be more angry emails
> from this concerned patron.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Vag Snatchdisaster Esq.

Dear Mr. Snatchdisaster, Escort:

We'd love to tell you that we regret any inconvenience DailyLimerick.net may have caused you, but regrets, we've had a few; then again, too few to mention.

As most readers undoubtedly know, multi-national, multi-orgasmic organizations such as DailyLimerick.net really don't give a quarter-shit about its accidental kicks-to-the-taint of loyal readers such as yourself. Thus, we farm this pesky customer service piffle overseas...or at least offshore, to illegal immigrant workers at our public relations sweatshop in unincorporated Nantucket--

"Dear Senor. Muchos...come se dice?...sorry. Please enjoy the autographed fotografia of Chief Limericist Sloop Biederman's left huevo de amor, which will be arriving in your mailbox pronto, along with a $5 gift certificate toward your next purchase of Sloop Biederman's Penile Care Products."
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