Daily Limerick
May contain immature content; if you're a minor, go away!
(c)1999-2014 John "Sloop" Biederman
E-mail us here--
missives@dailylimerick.net
Archives: July 2014
DAILY LIMERICK 7/1/2014:
Think Overlord Healthcare of nation
needs not reform? Why's education
keep feeding more new degrees
to pow'r mad industry,
like, now, "Health Communication"?

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/1/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Eleven Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

How the hell can anybody "like" a freakin' BANK?

Have you folks heard of a thing known as "the news"?

What the hell is wrong with you people?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/2/2014:
Wednesday 'fore DL hits fifteen
years! What foods fit Daily Lim scene?
What chow rocks Nantucket?
Plates full as a truck fit
our tickling fine line of obscene!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/2/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Ten Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Walking around downtown Chicago recently, a question occurred to me--

Why the hell is there a California Pizza Kitchen...make that, California "Pizza" kitchen....in Chicago?

Why the?... Who the?... Seriously...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/3/2014:
Now driving--or walking--is grating!
Distracted folks--on them, I'm hating!
Drunk, eating or texting;
zoned, stupid or, next thing--
seems all of the world's "phone-sturbating"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/3/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Nine Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Chief Limericist checking in, here.

(Due to societal infestation with a disease called social media, I must point out that the following is clever wordplay, or perhaps "clever" wordplay, depending on your opinion, and not a type.)

As an Internet reverend, I'm a Justice of the Piece...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/4/2014:
It's Fourth of July! Strike up band, full!
In spirit of day, to get handle...
For crack at your apple pie,
I'll point hotdog to sky--
turn it into Roman candle!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/4/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Eight Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Happy Extra Cheezy Independence Day!...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/5/2014:
A young nymph hit company picnic
a'fixin' to score herself quick prick!
Had so many takers
amid the park's acres--
for her, it turned into a pic-dick!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/5/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Seven Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Today actually marks another countdown... One year until the one of humanity's greatest inventions hits its 69th birthday... We're talking, of course, about the bikini...

Happy Extra Cheezy Saturday!...

******

SUNDAY DAILY LIMERICK 7/6/2014:
The "squeaky wheels," just to keep peace,
get "grease"... Well, 'til lately, at least!
Those squeaky wheels, Twitter Age,
so eas'ly Twit their rage...
Frankly, just not enough grease!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/6/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Six Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

You can't spell "happiness" without "a penis."

Ahem.

Guess that can be interpreted in a number of ways. Irrelevant to lesbians, we suppose.

But there ya' go...

***

SUNDAY STORY TIME 7/6/2014:
A SPECIAL, TOUCHING SECTION APPEARING SUNDAYS ONLY
(Touching in some manner, anyway)

TODAY'S EDITION: City OR Country?
Much of the Sunday Story Time content over the past few months has related, directly or indirectly, to Big Life Changes and Decisions arising with the passing of my father in March.

Now owning both an unaffordable Chicago condo I've been trapped in, thanks to divorce and recession, and a paid-off country home, with plans to use the spacious family home at least as a between-home limbo while putting off the end residence decision many months in the future. (Meaning, living between the two amid a busy work season and until a dilly-dallying roommate/renter exits; then fixing up and selling the condo, using the country home's space for all the stuff; then staying in the family abode either for good or until I find reasonable, new Chicago digs.)

Call it hokey, but it's also a process of reacquainting with my roots and reexamining the possible closed mindedness of dubbing myself a "city guy" after, long ago, having old life circumstances steer me into that mindset.

All of that's been copiously mulled herein recently. But I'm now starting to realize that the question I've been positing myself may itself be dogma, as I've dubbed my ingrained city mindset.

I am positive that I don't like the suburbs. Or at least the "full flung suburbs," as I call them. I'm not sure how these things are defined, officially or non-, but while my family home is ten minutes or so from all the Walmarts and fast food outlets and such, it's nestled between farms, unable to be seen from the streets when the tress are full of leaves and, as far as I'm concerned, country and not suburban.

Sure, I have recognized that one of my options is to keep my city gigs/jobs, yet live in the country. I don't work an eight-hour day, five-day-per-week schedule, so the commuting is more bearable--and countless folks live with a Big Commute. But I've nonetheless been looking at two options--remaining a City Guy or returning to a Country Guy.

One recent morning, I was up especially early to accommodate a commute, doing some morning computer chores. I looked out the window of my country home to see fog rolling across the lily pads of a body of water at the edge of my "back yard," somewhere between a pond and a lagoon.

Like most, I often feel I don't take time often enough to "smell the flowers," as they say. Or in this case, marvel at the beauty of the flowers. But on this morning, despite being quite rushed, I did just that.

Hours later, I was preparing to board a tour bus, where I work as a guide, in the heart of downtown Chicago. I again paused to marvel at the flowers, which in this case were the awesome skyscrapers of the Windy City, all around me.

I then paused yet again, this time to marvel at the juxtaposition of the two markedly different worlds I had marveled at, all within the course of hours.

City OR country?

Why can't I be both?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/7/2014:
"Biosexual" is Twit follower!
First thought, "Clever!" but could ring hollow, fer
clever? Typo? No telling!
Sosh media? Spelling,
grammar slaughterhouse is dwelling there!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/7/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Five Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Headline--

"Sirius XM Fires 'Opie & Anthony'"

Doesn't a headline like this appear every couple of years?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/8/2014:
Drive watching cars lane-to-lane wobble... Fed-
up! Tailgate, cut-off... Plans, to hobbled, led!
Find self, gesture making,
head constantly shaking...
'Hind wheel, I become, "Sideways Bobblehead"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/8/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Four Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

To the producers responsible for keeping "Big Brother" and those "Bachelor/Bachelorette" shows on the air--

The '00s called and... Well, even they don't want those shows back, actually...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/9/2014:
Once lived in L.A.--a big hitch then?
If that's "pizza," must be some ditch blend!
Food Capital, wanna know,
why's there, in Chicago,
California Pizza Kitchen?

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/9/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Three Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Bought some frozen Sicilian style pizzas recently and, in pondering their authenticity... Well, for starters, I'm guessing that true Sicilian pizzas generally aren't frozen...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/10/2014:
Sure, on Facebook, "liking's" a wank--
click, touch 'tween your posts' ego yank!
But... Heard of "the news"?
Folks, what's wrong with yous--
just who the hell can "like" a bank?

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/10/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... Two Days until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Taking the lead set by Seattle, Chicago is considering upping its minimum wage.

WAY upping, as high as perhaps $15/hour.

While we think that the current minimum wage is beyond ridiculous in its paltriness, this is a complex issue.

Nobody can hope to come near supporting a family on the current minimum wage...but some employers will cut hiring, leave town and/or go out of business.

This increase in wages will spur such workers to sink more money into the overall economy...but it will also nudge more employers into hiring illegal immigrants.

Oh, we could go on and on. And on some more.

See, unlike politicians and, let's face it, the Kool Aid-chugging partisan majority, we find it hard to jump on one side of the issue and froth away at those upon the other. Because there are two sides to all of this and, oh... What the hell's the matter with us?

Seeing two sides of the issues is SOOOO last century...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/11/2014:
Five lines--a, a, a then b,b;
dacytl feet three, three, two two, three...
That's Lim'rick! For FIFTEEN YEARS,
one daily, Eve is here...
So must ask... What's wrong with me?

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/11/2014:
COUNTDOWN TO JULY 12, 2014... One Day until Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service"...

Since Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of a Limerick every single freakin' day tomorrow, this would be something like All Limerick's Eve.

Lube up your chimney or something...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/12/2014:
Fifteen years of Lim'ricks--and daily!
Began as mere list through e-mail-y
to plug Nash'nal Lim'rick Slam
(won AND was hosting ham)...
Wonder, should I be in jaily-y?

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/12/2014:
Daily Limerick hits FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service" TODAY!...

If you want more content than that, I've got some swamp land in Nantucket you may want to buy...

******

SUNDAY DAILY LIMERICK 7/13/2014:
Yesterday, hit FIFTEEN YEAR mark!
Now asking self, "Why?" in light stark!
But whom am I kidding?
Rhyme dirty? Life's bidding!
(But in my case, bite's worse than bark!)

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/13/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Yup.

The day after reaching FIFTEEN YEARS of this nonsense.

Oh, our aching...[rhymes with "Nantucket"]...

***

SUNDAY STORY TIME 7/13/2014:
A SPECIAL, TOUCHING SECTION APPEARING SUNDAYS ONLY
(Touching in some manner, anyway)

TODAY'S EDITION: Once Upon a Time...
...There was a Web site that hit FIFTEEN YEARS OF SERVICE, yesterday, in fact, so, yeah, no edition today... Haven't I given enough?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/14/2014:
The headline read that XM Sirius
fired Opie & Anthony! Query's this--
Did I read same recently?
Axed for indecency?
Seems each two years, head(line)'s rearing its!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/14/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

You can't spell "poverty" without "poetry"!...

***

LETTERS TO THE IDIOT 7/14/2014:
Upon reaching FIFTEEN YEARS of, er, "Service," the congrats are trickling in--unfortunately, so far, to Facebook, rather than directly, but we won't look a gift-horse in the taint.

This one's from Mike Chmielecki of, um, former "Accursed Verse" fame--

> I'll be driving all over creation (okay, all over New Hampshire) this weekend
> and won't be looking at very much social media. So let me just say now:
> Congratulations. That takes a serious amount of discipline. I remember how
> when we used to run Accursed Verses it started out so promising and fizzled
> out relatively quickly as I started missing days, then weeks, then months.
> Very impressed that you've kept it going this long, John. Quite an
> accomplishment.

Discipline, huh?

Guess that's all part of masochism, right?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/15/2014:
Turned 'Net reverend, so folks would cease
asking, "Wed us, 'stead of judge/priest?"
First one I do? No telling!
But I'm more, note spelling,
proper, "Justice of the...Piece"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/15/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Saw a beggar in Downtown Chicago recently with a sign, seeking donations, mentioning that he'd--

"Lost my leg for my 'county'"

Improper quote usage aside, with the tax rates, one does tend to lose an arm and/or leg for one's "county"...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/16/2014:
Can't be, frozen pizza aisle, dozin'!
In end, style Sicilian, I'd chosen!
But its authenticity?
Mmm... But in Sicily?
Kinda doubt pizzas are frozen!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/16/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Donuts are sacred.

Well, perhaps that's going a bit too far, but lately, donuts have seized a special place inside my heart, in addition to within my tummy.

See, a family friend of mine had a habit of, every Thursday, stopping by my father's home, the house I grew up in, with a half-dozen donuts. Usually I ended up eating them, my dad not a big sweets guy.

I myself was never a huge donut dude, but since my father's passing earlier this year, the donut tradition has continued as I've partially lived in the family home, tasked with the sprawling project of sorting through items in, fixing up and preparing to sell the house.

Actually, my initial statement isn't goiing too far, after all.

Donuts are sacred...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/17/2014:
Bikini's invention--world cheered!
And cause for more hoopla's now here!
This beach-based God's gift to man,
shrinking babe skin un-tanned,
entered its Sixty-Ninth Year!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/17/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan has announced an initiative against predatory, unsavory lenders offering too-good-to-be-true deals to reduce debtors' student loan balances.

Which is all fine and good.

But what about the predatory, unsavory lenders who doled out these loans in the first place?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/18/2014:
Here's spelling game! Not sure what means this...
For having, or getting, can glean this--
applies to all, rule, my friends,
except for lesbians--
can't spell "Happiness" sans "Penis"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/18/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Whaddaya call a foot fetishist who cheats on his significant other?

A phalangerer.

A bit high brow, but there you have it...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/19/2014:
A girlie who loved nibbling cob,
found long hair oft hindered the job!
Picked new hairstyle of the sort,
quite dainty, yet quite short--
that's why we call it a "bob"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/19/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Okay, maybe we should let this sorta thing go, as we've been harping on it a whole lot.

Then again. Maybe we shouldn't. And maybe we CAN'T.

Anyway... Badly needed new term for the Social Media Age--

"Crap-italization"...

Happy Extra Cheezy Saturday!...

******

SUNDAY DAILY LIMERICK 7/20/2014:
TV over-dubs? Seems no one be
in favor--not one in a hundry!
Yet overused, swear words,
so sometimes, does occur,
the censoring comes out more funny!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/20/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

These laws in many/most states now, likely soon everywhere, banning mobile phone usage, including texting, while driving?

Ain't stopping anybody. Never will. Simply look around while driving, or even walking, at least in urban areas.

We're not talking about rebellious teenagers and young adults. EVERYBODY is driving and phoning--and not "hands-free, either.

In some ways, apparently, these laws are comparable to Prohibition, at least in the since that the public at large, obviously, widely ignore them.

Slapper Yapper Grasshoppers know that Daily Limerick... Well, less than embraces the invention of the cell phone, even if acknowledging that it's reality and pointless to fight.

In fact, we've went on record as comparing it to walking and chewing gum, driving-wise. That is, non-knuckleheads can handle the task, at the very least keeping such conversations brief.

And, hell, we'll even that since most people spend significant amounts of time driving, and that driving is largely wasted time--unlike, say riding a bus or train, one can't read or knock-off other tasks behind the wheel.

But, at least to us... Well, flouting Prohibition had a cool, stick-in-to-The Man angle to it and... Well, let's just say it pained us to compare the failures of these two laws...

***

SUNDAY STORY TIME 7/20/2014:
A SPECIAL, TOUCHING SECTION APPEARING SUNDAYS ONLY
(Touching in some manner, anyway)

TODAY'S EDITION: Ahem.

FIFTEEN YEARS OF SERVICE, last Saturday?
Sorry. We're still basking in the...whatever.

Maybe next week?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/21/2014:
Yo, "Big Brother," "Bachelor" show hacks?
Producers of creative yack?
While busy, 'mid your brains stalled,
decade called "Oh-Ohs" called...
Even THEY don't want shows back!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/21/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

For those who work in the service or entertainment industries, a "case of the Mondays" is actually a very good thing, indeed...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/22/2014:
"Progressives" who harp up a din,
"Not part of solution?"--can't win!--
"You're part of the problem!"
They're same folks who lob bombs
at concept, "Original Sin!"

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/22/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Today marks the 80th anniversary of the (alleged) death of John Dillinger.

The Feds nabbed the guy after a bank robbing spree that ran a bit over a year.

The more things change, the more they don't.

It took the Feds almost a decade to kill Osama bin Laden.

But, hey, OBL killed thousands of innocent Americans and destroyed signature landmarks of the New York skyline. He didn't directly mess with The Banks...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/23/2014:
Some fam'lies/friends hit church, go fishin'
each week--of quite few I've heard dishin'!
Since father before me,
fam friend's gift's our storied
and most sacred...Donut Tradition!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/23/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

There is no need for ketchup.

Barbecue sauce has been invented.

So... Why?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/24/2014:
Now 80 years since the Feds nailed
John Dillinger--killed over jailed!
Struck quick! Year, no ploddin',
as with ol' bin Laden--
who didn't hit Too Big To Fails!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/24/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

It feels so bad boy cool to cross the border to make Big Cash.

Even if it's really just saving big-ish cash by crossing the Illinois-Wisconsin border for gas...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/25/2014:
Attorneys gen'ral seeking glory
sue Student Aid lenders--new's story!
Not lenders original
they blessed--'s' provisional
just who is dubbed, "predatory"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/25/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

If a tree falls in the forest and people post and Twit about it... Does it really make a sound, considering that social media is all about sounding off and ignoring everyone else's sounding off?...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/26/2014:
A girlie had silky smooth notion...
Shaved-up down there, with careful motion...
Boyfriend, so turned-on was he,
finished job, 'mmediately--
splashing on "aftershave lotion"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/26/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Happy Extra Cheezy Uncle's Day!... (Yeah, it's Aunt's Day, too)...

******

SUNDAY DAILY LIMERICK 7/27/2014:‚Äč
As I live, and learn, more and more,
find it tough to pick sides! At core,
hot buttons are tough! I've tried--
complex! I see both sides...
Guess that makes me dinosaur!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/27/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Yo, celebrities!

We don't want to hear your "relationship advice"...

***

SUNDAY STORY TIME 7/27/2014:
A SPECIAL, TOUCHING SECTION APPEARING SUNDAYS ONLY
(Touching in some manner, anyway)

TODAY'S EDITION: I Was Wrong
Yeah. Perhaps in denial

Slapper Yapper Grasshoppers should know that, in this, I've yarned about dealing with my parents' estate, including going back and forth between the country and the city and... Hit the Archives if you must. In short, was mulling returning to my former status as Country Boy.

Well... Ain't gonna happen.

I'm too integrated to city life. Career just won't work too far outside Chicago. Shy guy, so would Go Unabomber by living in the boonies now.

Contrary to old parables and such, you CAN take the country out of the boy. Well, mostly, anyway.

A bit bummed. I tried to keep the family home and estate. Yeah, I'll be dealing with it for months but... (Sigh.)

Lot of freakin' work, though. So don't expect the finest attention to content in this section for the foreseeable near-ish future.

In fact... I'm done with this edition...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/28/2014:
Now poets, folks don't gen'rlly know to be
rich types--'fact, oft with money woes we see!
E'en those who somehow find fame
conform to this word game--
can't spell "poverty" sans "poetry"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/28/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

We're now amid the official Dog Days of summer.

Sirius-ly.

He hee.

(Ugh)...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/29/2014:
Read sign, self-dubbed vet's, on the beg--
"Lost limb for my...county"? Limb, peg!
Though Cook County, facts is,
a feed trough for taxes--
many DO give arm and/or leg!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/29/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

We at Daily Limerick harp continually on the fact that we try our best to remain anti-partisan on issues.

Yeah. Curiously, in this day and age, we don't find it easy to pick sides on political issues.

Concerning, say, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict... Okay. We LEAN toward Israel, as we don't hear the pro-Palestinian folks holding the Palestinian leaders accountable very often, despite the fact that their constitution calls for the elimination of Israel. But we also admit that Israel's bomb-happy.

Two sides to an issue. What a concept!

We also questioned at numerous points over our Fifteen Years of, um, "Service" just what good protests do in our modern age.

Chief Limericist checking in, here, with a slice-of-life vignette.

I work a tour bus as a gig. Untouchable Tours in Chicago. Last week, our tour was completely messed-up thanks to a crowd of pro-Palestinians exercising their right to express themselves.

I very nearly lost my mojo I certainly lost out on tips.

I must conclude that protests, even in our partisan age, do indeed have a strong affect.

For instance, now I'm leaning a little closer to Israel's side on this one...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/30/2014:
Like mustard--and sauce with zing twist!
Rare times I crave tomato twist?
I pour out, or jar unscrew
spicy-sweet barbecue!
(Why's ketchup even exist?)

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/30/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

Attempting to stoke my cheeze cultural level, hunting for Havarti in the store, I was at a loss, so instead grabbed Gruyere as a substitute, as I wanted to acquaint, or reacquaint, myself with that variety, too..

Upon my next visit, I found the elusive Havarti, and tried that, finally, perhaps again, as I may have had it over the years but, as I mentioned, was trying to get my cheeze cultural level on and... Gotta say, I was a bit disappointed in the Havarti.

But Gruyere is now my favorite cheeze.

Oh, there's more varieties to explore in this quest, of course, and it's hard to pick true favorites with such things, what with extra sharp cheddar being so darned delicious, too, but... Yeah, for now... Hail Gruyere!...

******

DAILY LIMERICK 7/31/2014:
Non-single guys, scoring where can for their
egos...who are feet and toes fans? Occurs
to me, need a hybrid term
to name this type of worm--
and so I dub them, "Phalang-erers"!

***

SLAPPIN' AND YAPPIN' 7/31/2014:
Daily Limerick has now hit FIFTEEN YEARS of, um, "service," as of July 12!...

As classic monster movie fans, and gut-reaction update of classic monster movie naysayers, we at Daily Limerick just got around to watching some of these newer takes. "The Mummy," "The Wolfman" and "Van Helsing," specifically.

And... Okay, we'd just be piling-on every other critic's chief complaint to mention the modern "special effects are all that's needed" horror flick philosophy.

But have you noticed that these directors are addicted to special effects? Not just as a crutch. They toss these everywhere, leading to flicks loaded with so much going on it's impossible to follow completely.

More importantly... Well, call us old-fashioned to demand this in a horror film, but these flicks aren't even scary...